


A Collection Of Old Poems

by Spooky8pack



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Bad Poetry, Poetry, Some old poetry I wrote
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 06:23:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19223425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spooky8pack/pseuds/Spooky8pack
Summary: I decided to compile all the edgy poems I wrote in my notebook in middle school. I wanted to immortalize my old works. Please be gentle, I wrote these when I was 12/13, I was going through some stuff. Most have tiggering content, I will put warnings at the beginnings of chapters.Maybe read this then read my other volume of poetry and compare!





	1. Nobody

**Author's Note:**

> Quick Trigger Warning (told yall most of these were edgy)  
> This one talks about human life being worthless, how morality is subjective, some dark subjects like that.

Who says what is right and wrong?  
Who says what we can and cannot do?  
Who has the power do dictate another human life?  
All questions unanswered.   
Because they have no answer.   
No human should dictate another, no human can determine right from wrong.  
That is simply perspective, what is right to one is wrong to another.   
What is normal to one, is chaos to another.  
So what is normal, right, wrong, order, chaos?  
Nobody knows.  
No one knows what chaos is, no one knows what order is.  
Nobody knows.  
Truth is, it's okay to admit that we don't know, it's a sign of strength and pride in yourself to admit that you don't know.  
Nobody knows.  
Is killing really that wrong?  
Well obviously it's against the law?  
Correct?  
But why is it so wrong?  
Why is taking a life wrong?  
From what I've seen life is a bitch, disease, war, violence, ridicule.  
Life is terrible in todays age.  
So why is killing wrong?  
Nobody knows.


	2. Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another trigger warning  
> This one deals with intense self loathing.

You know that voice in the back of your head. 

That voice that calls me a failure, tells me that  
I should never do anything because I will always fuck it up.

That voice that will laugh at my small mistakes  
and amplify the severity  
making sure I feel as horrid as possible. 

That voice that tells me that  
either something is wrong  
or something will go wrong. 

That voice that tells me that everything  
I do is wrong and that I am as a,  
human, wrong. 

That voice that tells me that nobody  
actually likes me, that everyone  
just deals with me.

That voice is my own, and I don't think  
I can shut it up.


	3. Value

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings galore boys  
> This one is another one about the inherent worthlessness of human life.  
> Just for the record I don't feel like this anymore.

Life isn't valuable.  
Why do we value something that there are 7 billion of?  
Life is not priceless, it has a worth and it's small.  
Dying is a part of life.   
If it truly is valuable we should allow life to take its course.  
So, why do we preserve something that is so abundant?  
Life is complex but just because it's complex doesn't mean it's valuable.  
Normally value is based on rarity, so why is human life considered so valuable when it's about as rare as dirt?


	4. Different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't think there's any content warnings for this one.  
> Still heavy but no suicidal thoughts or anything in this one.

Different parts of my brain can turn on and off.  
Logic and emotion in a constant battle over rule of the land that is my mind.  
It's a struggle finding some sort of healthy balance.  
Emotion and logic could never coexist.  
Just like dogs and cats.  
Polar opposites.  
The left side, dictating my logic and reason, the right side, dictating my emotion and sympathy.


	5. Leech

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for this one  
> Deep, deep self loathing yall  
> And also talk of emotional abuse

I guess you could call me a, hopeless romantic.  
Constantly clinging to others for any hope of companionship, or someone to dump my toubles onto.  
It's pathetic the way I depend on others to keep me stable.  
I am a leech, feeding on others and giving nothing back but hardship.  
I feed on the happiness of others.  
Desperately hoping that maybe I can one day get better and give back.  
But as one does to a leech, they get rid of me.  
They simply burn the parasite.  
Betray me, stab me in the back.  
Leaving the parasite to slither onto a new host.  
Hoping for something different.  
Hoping I won't be betrayed once again.  
I guess you could call me a, leech.


	6. Rock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> more self loathing  
> more talk of emotional abuse

I need a rock.  
Someone to hold me up, someone to lean on when I can no longer support my own weight.  
I am pathetic, you can't depend on rocks forever.   
Eventually you will have to walk the deserts and canyons with no one to hold you.  
Sometimes your rocks will stab you in the back.


	7. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I talk about my depression induced memory loss here, also repressing my traumatic memories.  
> Not exactly triggering I wouldn't think, but thought I'd warn.

I can't remember when anything happened anymore.  
The days have started molding together like clay.  
The events mixed up, I don't know what actually happened anymore.  
False memories, and realistic dreams mixing together with reality.  
It's all a ball of confusion, unreality, and false memories.  
What happened a week ago?  
What happened a month ago?  
The few memories I still have are jumbled.   
The rest are lost.  
I can barely remember anything that happened or didn't happen.  
It's like the days before now never even existed.   
It's a struggle to simple remember what day it is.  
The past, clouded over and hazy.  
My memory, gone.


	8. Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one talks about emotional connection  
> The typical, "every time I let people in they hurt me" thing

I have pushed people away, I have let them in, I have carefully selected, and I have opened to everyone.  
And no matter what I do I get hurt and they leave just fine.  
No one cares if I stay or not, I try to push people away and that is bad.  
I let people in and I get hurt.  
I don't know what to do anymore.  
I told myself connections were bad, SO i didn't make them and I got hurt, I tried to make connections and I got used, abandoned, and hurt.  
I just don't want people to use me anymore.  
I don't want people to hurt me anymore.


	9. Sting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS ONE  
> Self harm, self loathing,   
> Talking about my methods in semi-detail

It isn't enough to draw blood.  
Or enough to do damage.  
Just enough to sting.  
It stings.

It feels like exposure to the sun.  
It's a burn, a pain, a sting.  
It hurts.  
I like it.

It's just enough for reality to come flooding back.  
The ringing is gone.  
The sensations are gone.  
Just the sting.  
It stings.


	10. Narcissist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> more self loathing  
> and yes somehow I both hated myself   
> and thought i was a narcissist

I am a narcissist   
Through and through  
I am vain and I want others to think the best of me.  
I want to be the best.   
I want to be the greatest.  
I am better than everyone  
I am better than you.  
I AM BETTER THAN YOU.


End file.
